matchmaker, matchmaker

There is one movie that has taught me more lessons about life and my relationship with God than any other movie. You might think it’s a movie like The Passion of the Christ or the movie Jesus, but surprisingly no. The movie I’m referring to is Fiddler on the Roof. I feel misunderstood when I mention this fact. Fiddler on the Roof is the most watched, quoted, and loved film in my family down to my three year old brother.

One of the film’s most iconic songs, Matchmaker, is comic but makes me think of my own search for a match. Before the song begins, Hodel mentions that, “somebody has to arrange the matches. Young people can't decide these things themselves.” She brings up a pretty good point. I used to think that I knew what was best for me, especially when it came to guys. Let’s face it. Teenagers are changing their mind constantly. They like one thing one day and hate it the next. With such instability and attention deficit, how could I trust myself to make a decision that would last the rest of my life?

When it comes to being in a relationship with a guy two ways come to mind, the easy way and the hard way. I’ve dated before. Let’s just say that was the hard way. That was one roller coaster ride whose ticket cost way too much. I liked a guy, he liked me and we started dating. I didn’t consult my parents. They weren’t dating him so why should they be a part of it? I realized later on that following their counsel and actually having their blessing on the relationship would be much easier and less dramatic.

Tevye’s daughters sing, “For papa, make him a scholar. For mama, make him rich as a king.” Personally these aren’t on my Must Have list, but I definitely see the importance of seeking characteristics in a match that your parents value. If your parents only want the best for you of course their standards for a match will be high and admirable.

There’s a part in the song where Chava sings, “You know that I'm still very young. Please, take your time.” Then, Hodel sings, “Up to this minute, I misunderstood that I could get stuck for good.” Looking back on my life when I was dating I can pinpoint mistakes that I would definitely not have done if I had been following my parents’ guidance and asked for a courtship. Many people who date around looking for their soul mate end up making mistakes that affect the rest of their lives. They get “stuck for good.” I’m young and have a lot to offer the world before I get married and have children. When you do things in a rush it shows. Is that how I want my relationship to look like, a rush?

The girls sing, “Dear Yenta, see that he's gentle. Remember, you were also a bride.” I have had to nurse girls’ hearts countless time after some drama involving a guy. If you have a friend who’s been dating around and never having a successful relationship, would you think it’s wise to get advice on relationships from her?

Our “matchmakers”, our parents, know what a healthy relationship needs. They remember when they decided to get married. They want us to learn from their mistakes. Courtship allows me to allow them to evaluate a potential suitor. They can take into account all they remember from when they were a bride and groom and assess each situation.

Close to the end of the song the girls jump on the bed and sing, “Matchmaker, matchmaker, plan me no plans. I'm in no rush. Maybe I've learned, playing with matches
a girl can get burned.” That statement is my testimony. I’ve done the whole dating thing and I believe that courtship is a definite improvement. Dating left me burned. I played around with people’s hearts and was confused and overwhelmed by different emotions.

Thankfully, God healed my wounds left by ex-boyfriends, but I still have the scars. I have learned my lesson. I’m not in any rush to settle down with a guy and be married. My priorities lie in the things God wants to do through me. It has to be all in His timing and with the guidance of those God has placed in my life maybe eventually I will have a match. That match won’t be perfect, but it will be perfect for me and that match will light a fire that will last until death do us part.